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In Your Dreams

I love silk stockings on a man – the right man of course. The sheen of them, the iridescence catching the light. 15 denier max., delicate sheer and shapely, leading the eye up to up to.

When I say the right man, I mean the right legs. Muscular, but not over-emphasised: not rugby player or professional cyclist, but lean functional muscles, a calf that turns but doesn’t bulge, thighs that show definition of quadriceps, each part of the muscle clear, but not aggressively so, understated knees. 

A minimum of pale body hair – not entirely absent, but just enough to feel through the silk, the rough offsetting the smooth shimmering nylon, a feast for tender probing fingers.

Stockings, of course, not tights. With sensual detailing at the top, maybe floral lace, held by the clip of suspenders and leaving an exposed area of golden flesh, firm and inviting.

The suspenders should be high-waisted, a hint of corset holding in a firm stomach – nothing so vulgar as a six-pack, just a wall of muscled abdomen, smooth, something you would want to rub sun tan lotion into on a tropical beach.

Two men

His hair is thick, auburn, straight, begging you to run your fingers through it. He grins invitingly showing white even teeth with a hint of mischief in the smile at the corner of the mouth. His tongue moistens full lips. He is looking me directly in the eye, challenging me.

‘Come closer … You know you want to –’.

I want to. I want to fuck him so badly my stomach is in knots.

I look directly back. Into the mirror.

Peter Scott-Presland

they cut my heart out

they cut my heart out my sex too
the desire i had had since i was a child
since before we were supposed to have such feelings

with a few choice friends, we permitted our desire to direct us taking off our clothes 
pretending
that our bodies were different to the childlike frames we all had imagining like hell 
the emotions we couldn’t quite reach.
but we could play them out invite them in 
as part of the act.
the act was so real it was real.

they cut away my heart. though not my capacity for joy but joy in a different form. 
calm without desire
the ability to behold beauty but not the need to act on it. this was foreign to me.

my 10-year-old niece said yes i can focus better but i feel part of my personality has gone.
i said i know what you mean i feel the same way -
part of me has gone too.

they cut my heart out but i was calmer
they cut part of her away, but she could focus

they took the song out of my sorrow. the blunt horror from my belly
and i survive even at times thrive
drive-less
moving differently through the world medicated 
against the things that complicate it.

Elly Clarke

Elly Clarke is an occasional visitor to the workshops in between her travels. She is a performer, poet and drag king.