'The Queen is coming!' Cousin Anne declared as she burst into the kitchen. It was the long hot summer of 1977, the Queen's Jubilee Year and I was eight years old. Anne was ten years older. 

Auntie Kate was standing next to me, but I had no idea how old she was. 'To Port Talbot!' Anne continued, 'Who had ever thought of it.'

Anne was half right, the Queen was going to be driven through Port Talbot, but she wasn't going to stop. Work on the M4 that passed by our house had accelerated in the last few months, so we could get out of our polluted town quicker. There was a verge overlooking the motorway at the back of our house, so we would have a great view as she passed by in a few hours.

'Well you've certainly dressed up for the occasion' said Auntie Kate.

'Oh these old things' said Anne. She touched her head. 'Jose gave me this, a proper Italian Straw Hat, it is. And Dai nicked this dress from work, he's got a job snipping the labels off women's clothes before they go to the market. It's real Marks and Spencer.’

'And the shoes?' asked Auntie Kate, looking at her white platform boots.

'Oh, I had to buy them,' said Anne, and made a pretend scowl.

'You're losing your touch,' said Auntie Kate. 'They look a bit like the ones Liz had, the shoes that ...'

'Melted,' said Anne, 'Yes, they are the same make, from the market.'

'Are you sure they're a good idea'? said Auntie Kate.

‘Well, I'm not going to stand in front of a fire like my sister! She ruined a rug, along with her shoes. We're still looking for a new one. You know what Auntie Gladys is like, she’s got to have exactly the same carpet. And who has to traipse around the shops with her? Muggins here, that's who. We've even been to D H Evans. The assistant said they don't do orange polyester rugs in the shape of a lion anymore, but I can't believe that, can you?'

Anne paused for breath. 'Where's your family, Larry?'

'They've gone to pick up granny,' I said. 'Well let's have a drink,' said Anne.

She poured out glasses of cherry pop, and we went to sit in the living room. Auntie Kate looked at the crucifixion on the wall, at the bible next to  the orange shellfish on the telephone stand, and said, 'Aren't we Catholics?'

'Yes', said Anne, 'once a Catholic ...' 

'And the Queen is C. of E.', said Auntie Kate.

'Yes,' said Anne, 'the head. Not much of a religion, if you ask me. They don't even have to go to church on Sunday! What sort of religion is that? Now Judaism I can respect, Muslims even more, you know for forty days a year they go without eating during the day. I saw it on Blue Peter.

'Rama-Wham or something like that it's called. I couldn't do that.’

'So should we even be celebrating this?'  said Auntie Kate.

'But it's the Queen!' said Anne. 'It's different.'

Then she picked up her glass and said, 'All hail the Queen.'

Tim Mathias